And In Conclusion...

 We're done here now. The film is complete, all other pieces of paperwork regarding the film are complete. All that is left to do is submit the film to festivals. This experience has been a significant part of my life this last 6 months - almost every day of it has been solely focused to see the pre, post, and production processes through. With these last few days of just tightening up a few things here and there, with less frantic turnaround time, it's given me time to think about the experience, what I've learned, and what I've taken from it that I intend to apply to future projects.

This production process has not been the smoothest, due almost entirely to the year that 2020 turned out to be. It was difficult having to try and come up with a film based around such limiting restrictions, including having to adjust to suddenly not shooting, followed by suddenly having to shoot in quick succession. But at the same time, the entire process presented a challenge that became an enjoyable one to overcome, providing its fair share of both difficult moments, and ones that were fun to work around. And it should go without saying that as well as all this, I'm very, very grateful to have been able to shoot at all - it looked for a while like that may not be an option as the pandemic seemed to worsen. So having a window of opportunity to produce and shoot the film right before that option would have been taken away from me, is something I am very appreciative of.

It may be cliche, but I've learnt more about myself along the way - about myself as a person, and my sensibilities as a filmmaker. I know I would have found it unhelpful to hear this advice a couple years ago, but the biggest take away from this process is to be yourself and to just keep going. The first two days of shooting I felt such pressure being in the director's position, having everyone look to me at all times, and especially being in the presence of a professional, who I didn't want to say a single wrong thing to. But the difficulties that came from the practicalities of shooting, and these personal feelings, helped shape my perspective and my drive. By the end of the second day of shooting, for the first time in my life, I thought that I didn't want to be a filmmaker anymore. And simply having that realization only strengthened my resolve to not give up on my passion to create film. 

That feeling of pressure I faced internally only made me more certain of one thing I'd felt quite sure of over the summer I'd spent by myself writing the film - if you can help it, do not isolate yourself. Bounce your ideas off of anyone, ask for script feedback, any kind of interaction with fellow filmmakers, or anyone at all, will help scrub away that feeling of loneliness that, if you don't feel it in pre-production, you'll definitely feel during the shoot. However silly it may feel, because I had a crew of people I know and trust and who I know trust me, it is a feeling that sticks around if the run up to the shoot of the film was a solo joint.

This ended up being more of a ramble than a properly written epilogue, but it does sum up the journey this film has been on, and that I've taken whilst making it. Shadows is very dear to my heart, and it gives me immense satisfaction to see it completed in such strong fashion. It's been rough at points, but it's bought me a lot of pleasure and joy, and I'm hugely grateful to everyone who contributed to it, even in some small way. Shadows is the first short film I've made that really captures that feeling of filmmaking on a larger scale that I've wanted for some time. And I will always hold it close to my heart for that.