In...And Out (Blog 8)

 

Woof. It’s been quite a week.

So, we shot the film, over the planned days of the 10^th, 12^th, and 13^th of October. And though not everything went according to plan, and there were some last-minute changes, it was successful. I’m glad and grateful to have been able to shoot it at all, given the circumstances affecting the entire country, though having to halt production and then immediately jump back into it did create an unbalance and make the first two days somewhat difficult to navigate.

The first day was the most productive; we shot the jogging scene, both scenes set on the pier, and the counselling scene at my house.

It was a pleasure to work with Paul Andrew, who was very chill and calm and offered some excellent insight and great ideas without pushing me out the way. He was very supportive, and his equipment and experience helped enhance the experience far beyond what it could have otherwise been.

The rest of the crew were so commited and unflinchingly helpful in what I’d asked of them, including Beth’s housemate, who I had previously worked with before, who I hadn’t asked but who showed up to help, which I found very kind, and it proved helpful to have a spare pair of hands-on deck. Matt I was grateful too also for being flexible around my shoot as much as I was his, shooting a day of his film on the 11^th in between my shoot.

One of the big takeaways things I’ve realized from the experience is that I don’t think I have as much love for directing as I thought. It may just be circumstantial, and I may feel differently with even more time away from it, but my first thought after the second shoot was that I didn’t want to be a filmmaker anymore. I’ve since gone back on that, but in a way I’m grateful for having that moment of self-doubt. It’s made me reflect on the difficulties of filming that I had, without realised, been taking for granted, and I feel I know myself better now as a result, including my strengths and weaknesses as a filmmaker.

Up until now, I’d been treating this film as my one chance at a calling card. Having a budgeted film to show what I’m capable of isn’t an opportunity I’ll have very often, so it’s been my one shot at getting noticed. But that isn’t right. My fears of the future have been too wrapped up in the production of this film, that I’ve not been focusing on its own merits as is. I realise that now. I can give this film the focus it needs, and simply try and make a film I’m proud of. And I’m excited to do so.

I’ve got a few more days on Matt’s shoot. When that’s over, I’m taking a break for a few days, to put some distance between myself and the film, and then the edit can start. I’ll be back in a couple weeks, by which point a rough cut should be assembled.

Estimated submission date – 31^st December 2020