Out Of The Shadows (Blog 1)

 

Almost 2 years ago, I came up with an idea for a short film, that I felt not I only wanted to make, but that I could make, and I should make. I’ve a great fondness for conceiving film ideas that are very genre, like fantasy, or sci-fi, but rooting them within a theme or social issue that needs to be seen in media more often. Close friends and family have been open with me in the past about their struggles with mental health, depression, anxiety. It’s something I feel is getting more of a public conversation, but wider representation is still important.

So, I pitched the idea to the university’s film society, which I was involved with at the time; a monster movie about mental health, specifically regarding a young woman with anxiety, which feels like an invisible creature preying on her fears. The pitch was successful, and Shadows was born. Over the course of a couple of months, the film was made, and screened as part of the society’s showcase. But it wasn’t what it should have been. Being given the choice between writing and directing, I chose to direct it, which was a mistake. It was a position I had little experience in and passing off writing duties to someone else meant the essence of what I was trying to create was lost, so I was struggling to communicate with my (very talented) cast and crew what to do for a version of a film I was already not entirely happy with. But it had been made, so I let it be.

As I explored other ideas that I was also passionate about, the feeling of what Shadows could have been never left my mind. Though I could have moved on to other things, it became clear to me that Shadows was still a story I was eager to tell, because I still haven’t told it right yet. But now with an additional year of experience on a set and as director under my belt, I felt more comfortable seeing it through production to its finished form, knowing it now had greater potential.

The story of a young woman dealing with the vastness of life after education by herself, while dealing with her own demons of anxiety and self-worth. It’s a heavy topic that will lead to a tricky, emotional shoot, that if done right within the realms of what the government restrictions allow in the coming months, could lead to a film for those with anxiety themselves, and those without; for those with, who see something relatable in this, and know they’re stronger than it. And for those without, who gain a greater understanding of what living with anxiety means for someone with it. As someone who does not have anxiety, I will be speaking to numerous people who do have and live with it, for consultation, so it can be portrayed accurately. That to me is more important than making the film at all.

I’ve been working on this new updated version of the project for a few weeks now. We shall see how it turns out on its own merits. But I’m hopeful.

Estimated shoot dates – 8-10^th October 2020